Think you’re too old for teddy bears? Think again because the Ted 16-Inch R-Rated Talking Plush Teddy Bear w/ Moving Mouth isn’t your average teddy. As a matter of fact, this foul-mouthed furry imp is almost exactly like the fun-loving bear in the movie… except this Ted won’t do drugs or invite a bunch of hookers over to party at your place.
Even though this bear might look cute and cuddly, he’s strictly for the over-eighteen crowd because that moving mouth has lots of interesting things to say, such as:
- “Yeah, I mean, y-you know when you sewed me up you put some of the stuffing in the wrong places so I’m-I’m a little f@!#ed up, but will you take care of me for ever and ever?… Aha! I’m just kidding you! I thought it’d be funny if you thought “I was f@!#ing retarded.”
- “You ever hear a Boston girl have an orgasm? ‘Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Harder! Harder! Oh, God, that was so good! Now I’m gonna stuff my f@!#in’ face with Pepperidge Farm.'””Well you never should’ve trusted me, I’m on drugs!”
- “Alright c’mon, let’s sing the Thunder Song. When you hear the sound of thunder, don’t you get too scared. Just grab your Thunder Buddy and say these magic words: F@!# you, Thunder! You can suck my d@!#. You can’t get me, Thunder, ’cause you’re just God’s farts (makes fart noise).”
- “Oh f@!# that, it’s been 4 years, Johnny! You and me have been together for 27 years; where’s my ring, huh? Where’s my ring, @!#hole? Where’s my ring, mother f@!#er? Put it on my fuzzy finger, you f@!#! C’mon!”
Relive some of your fond childhood memories, with a disturbed adult twist, with the Ted 16-Inch R-Rated Talking Plush Teddy Bear w/ Moving Mouth. It can be pre-ordered from Entertainment Earth now for $34.99 and be delivered to you in February. You can also find an 8 inch, 16 inch and 24 inch Ted bear at Amazon.com.