US Sec. of State Hillary Clinton is so tough that she could probably crush a nutshell with her fist. But instead, she’d rather crush tough GOP nuts with her personal nutcracker. Introducing the Hillary Clinton Nutcracker, featuring upper thighs made of stainless steel.
Hillary Clinton Nutcracker Features
- Nine-inch tall, fully functional, resin nutcracker with amazing likeness of Hillary Clinton
- Stainless steel teeth secured inside upper legs to grip and crack nuts in their shell
- Stands upright and has internal stainless steel components and spring
- Guaranteed to be the talk of any Party
- Hand wash recommended
Hillary’s back on top as Secretary of State and she’s still busting out better than ever. She can crack cases, barriers, and Nuts like a supreme force. This Hillary Nutcracker is built strong just like the real thing and believe us when we say strong. We cracked 500 walnuts in a row and this Nutcracker didn’t waver on a single one! She works great at house parties, conventions, and in courtrooms.
They’ve done a rather flattering job replicating her face, and her nut-eating grin says, “Bring it.” She’s probably got a pile of random nuts in her desk saved up for a rainy day; a walnut named Newt, a hazelnut named G.W., and there are some remnants of the peanut shell she cracked a few years ago named Sarah.
Results from a recent Gallup Poll put Clinton at the top of the list as “most admired woman” for the tenth straight time. Earning such a title and a nutcracker made in her honor are definitely huge lifetime achievements. Only Hillary knows how to seek and destroy nuts in a world filled with nut allergies.
You can buy the Hillary Clinton Nutcracker at Amazon.com starting at $8.95, or at Stupid.com for $17.99.
Some other nutcrackers that at least look tough are the Stormtrooper Nutcracker and R2-D2 Nutcracker.
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