Beards are cool. They make you look sophisticated and scholarly, or like a biker dude that people don’t want to mess with. If you are having trouble growing a crumb-catcher on your own, you could always go for the ultimate in beards. An Inflatable Cthulhu Beard.
It may not give you all of the power of one of the ancient ones, but at least you will look like Cthulhu himself.
This vinyl inflatable Cthulhu beard has painted suckers for tentacles and is 9-1/2″ long. Only $7.45 from NeatoShop. It is perfect for any occasion in which you have to wear a costume. On your face.