Gummy Haggis

St. Patrick’s Day is almost here and that means it’s time to get your shamrock on and celebrate with a big mouthful of Haggis; Gummy Haggis, that is. [Edit: As noted in the comments below, Haggis is actually a Scottish dish, not Irish. In fact, it is considered the national dish of Scotland.]

I am all for celebrating with authentic flavors, and I’ll be drinking my fair share of green beer (okay, more than my fair share, but who’s counting), but I can’t stomach the idea of munching on Haggis because — well, because there’s an actual stomach involved in the cooking process.

For those not aware of the inner workings of genuine Haggis, let me terrorize enlighten you. Haggis is a dish containing sheep’s ‘pluck’ (heart, liver and lungs), minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally simmered in the animal’s stomach for approximately three hours. In mild defense of this gnarly dish, modern commercial Haggis is prepared in a casing instead of an actual stomach, but still — Ewww!

Better to celebrate the holiday with some butterscotch-flavored Gummy Haggis for $5.99 from Stupid.com. Your stomach might thank me.